Women's sexual desires naturally fluctuate over the years. Highs and lows commonly coincide with the beginning or end of a relationship or with major life changes, such as pregnancy, menopause or illness. Some medications used for mood disorders also can cause low sex drive in women. If your lack of interest in sex continues or returns and causes personal distress, you may have a condition called hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD).
But you don't have to meet this medical definition to seek help. If you're bothered by a low sex drive or decreased sex drive, there are lifestyle changes and sexual techniques that may put you in the mood more often. Some medications may offer promise as well.
1. Stress
Stress is one of the major causes of lack of sex drive for women. When a woman is suffering from stress, her body is robbed of many of the essential building blocks it uses to produce hormones. When you are over-stressed, your body will try to protect itself and conserve energy rather than seek pleasure.
2. Hormones
As women enter perimenopause and menopause, hormones fluctuate wildly. Hormonal imbalances are often accompanied by other symptoms such as hot flashes, mood swings, and weight gain. Women often just don’t feel sexy when experiencing these symptoms. It is interesting to note that human females need their own pheromones (sexual arousal and attraction) to feel turned on. If the pheromones aren’t there, it’s more difficult to be in the mood.
3. Appropriateness
Some women have been given the impression that once you get to ‘a certain age’, your sex life is over. It’s no longer appropriate to consider yourself a sexual being. Don’t buy it. Your sexuality is a state of mind. We are sexual beings and that does not have to change when you reach a certain age or phase in life.
4. Diet
Poor nutrition or very low-fat diet are horrible for sex drive. The body needs lipids (found in healthy fats) to make hormones. Driving cholesterol down too low can speed the aging process as your body will be starved of what it needs to make your hormones. What you feed your body nutritionally will have a direct impact on your energy and your sex drive.
5. Issues With Spouse/Partner
Sometimes the stress of a relationship that isn’t working well, dampens sexual desire. Often, this happens after many years when the woman finally enters perimenopause or menopause and her feelings about “how life should be” begin to change. Behavior that was tolerated in the past is now resented. Menopause is a time of reflection. You are tired of settling, making compromising, or living in a situation that no longer serves you. Many women will exit relationships at this time or refuse to have intercourse, if they choose to remain in a strained relationship.
6. Physical Changes
As women age, changes take place in the vagina causing thinning and dryness. This can cause pain during intercourse, so a woman may begin to dread sex because of the pain. This is where you want to talk to your partner, but also your health care provider. There are options to help relieve vaginal dryness and also finding other ways to enjoy the pleasure of sex.
7. Being Single
Some women find themselves being single after ending a relationship and the prospect of dating is just too overwhelming. So they avoid it and give up on having a sex life. Or they may become so excited about finally being out of a bad relationship that they feel “free” to try out several relationships searching for something and end up without it. Take time to love yourself before seeking it outside of yourself.
There is hope. You can find your libido again. It does not need to be on a hike forever
